The Real Question I Want an Answer To……

p03s22rmWhat if we are looking at this all wrong?

What if we put the politics aside for just a minute and look at what I like to call “humantics”?

What if we could strip the layers of anger, lies, betrayal, religious and party oriented beliefs and look at how we got here?

What if we stopped putting band aids on EVERYTHING and demanded that we ourselves as individuals take responsibility for where we are because, let’s face it, the government is NEVER going to do it for us?

Yes, we have a nationwide bullying epidemic on our hands.

Yes, we as a country have a major anger problem.

Yes, we have a mental health crisis on our hands.

Yes, we have an opioid and pharmaceutical crisis on our hands.

And yes, like it or not, we have a gun problem; amongst other things….

BUT what if the root of our problems is far more complex and different than you have EVER considered?

I have 6 children; ages 8, 6, 4, 3, 2 and nearly 2 months.

3 of my 6 children struggle with mental health issues ALREADY.

Another 1 of my children has epilepsy, coupled with ataxia and other physical neurological impairments.

I struggle every day with the fact that I have to make a choice to either buy them a rain boots that fit or to pay their therapy bills.

I single handedly understand that our healthcare system is not set up to support children, or adults, who need mental health services. The services are beyond difficult to get covered; if they are covered they are almost always capitated to a pre-fixed number of sessions per year. Many mental health professionals don’t even take insurance and even if you did find a good therapist who accepts insurance you will still need to get your child a diagnosis before the insurance companies will even considering covering anything….. but that requires a evaluation which can cost thousands out of pocket and even then it might not get you anywhere.  All of these things OBVIOUSLY have to change.

But today I am not going to argue about any of that.

Today, I want to bring forward a discussion that you don’t usually hear when our nation is in crisis mode.

The real question that I want answered is…….

WHY IN THE WORLD ARE OUR BABIES STUGGLING WITH A MENTAL HEALTH EMIDEMIC IN THE FIRST PLACE??????

My two year old started showing signs of mental health problems at 9 months (slamming his head against the floor, biting himself, screaming a high pitched cry for HOURS)….. I needed to know why.

I researched and researched. I talked to doctors. I talked to other families. We did evaluations. EVERYTHING has led back to TOXCITY.

Our food is full of chemicals, even our produce.

Monsanto has done a great job finding use for the left over Glyphosate (Round-Up) created for and used to wipe out the jungles in the Vietnam War…. But sure, it is absolutely safe to use on our food….

As a mom who can’t produce breastmilk, no matter what I do, I cringe single time I scoop that formula out of the can knowing it is laden with chemicals but what choice do I have?

Our water, our air, our personal care products are also so, so contaminated.

Then there is the taboo subject of vaccinations. My 3 year old daughter was vaccine injured after receiving the dTap. She regressed in her ability to walk and speak three days after it was administered. She now battles the daily effects of epilepsy, ataxia and neurological damage on the entire left side of her body. I will get more in depth of this another day but long story short every single genetic disorder DNA test has come back NORMAL. That leaves us yet again right back to toxicity.

Go on the CDC’s website look at the vaccine ingredient list. Chemicals. Heavy metals. Aborted fetal cells. Animal cells. Things NEVER meant to be put into our bodies but are being injected into our kids starting on day 1 in the hospital.

Think I’m crazy? Check it out for yourself. Look at the listed side effects too….

Now look at the comparison of the recommended vaccination schedule from 1983 and today.

cdc-vax-schedule-2016_mini

I’ll leave that one right there for today.

My extensive nonstop research and quest for answers has led me to the very understanding that one of the main reasons we are even in this mental health (and cancer) epidemic comes down to insane exposure to toxic chemicals that were never meant for our bodies… especially our little ones.

Our babies are paying the price of corruption and greed in so, so many ways.

I wonder what our world would be like if we put an end to this madness?

It starts with me.

It starts with you.

Please do your own research. Don’t believe me just because I have said it. Don’t believe “them” just because “they” say it. Make your own informed decision based upon your own personal immersion of peer reviewed studies on all sides of the fight. Oh and be sure to look at who funded the studies too…..

We have the power to change the world…. for our babies….what if we stopped poisoning them…. and ourselves???

Yours Through The Insanity,

XOXOXOXO

Colleen

When Your Heart and Mind Aren’t in Sync…

I am the first to admit that I am an undeniably rare “crazy” breed.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and let my passion lead the way.  On the flip side of that equation, is that I am also prone to falling, VERY, VERY hard- usually flat on face right in the middle of the street for everyone to see.  Most of the time it is easy to brush myself off and chalk it up to another lesson learned. But there are those “things” that eat at me until I have fallen apart so badly inside that I have no choice but to cry uncle.

This is definitely one of those “things.”

Now, I have already admitted to (and take complete ownership of) the crazy that runs deep through my veins and what I am about to say may make most of you think I more than likely need to be committed (If you haven’t already previously thought that about me!) but I’ve become a risk taker over the past few years so why not lay this out there too….

I have ABSOLUTLY been blessed with SIX children earth side and ONE angel baby who gives us a hand from the other side. My life is literarily insane and chaotic to the point where I am losing my mind most days but I wouldn’t change this path that I have been lead down for anything. All of this was placed in my heart so very long ago and just feels right to me; even if God and I are the only ones who get it.

Here’s the thing though…. What do you do when your heart ache grows more intense with each passing day as you realize that you are not ready to be done yet your body has shut down the option?

See I MUST be certifiable, right??!!

Finality is a tough one for me. I haven’t had a lot of it in my life- mostly because you can’t tell me that I can’t do something. I will persist and make it happen no matter how many times I may get knocked down. There is always another door, another option…. but this time things are different. I can’t undo this one and I’m struggling with that. I knew walking into the hospital that this was it. I tried telling myself I was done- that I was tired. I REALLY tried hard to convince myself but my heart, MY WHOLE HEART, is crazily saying something VERY different.

Maybe it just takes time.

Maybe some of us always feel this way.

Maybe it’s because my body made the decision for me.

All I know is this heartache is FIERCE and maybe it’s that maybe, just maybe, I’m ever so slightly insane….

Yours Through The Insanity,

xoxoxoxo

Colleen

Mommy Wars….

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I will be the first one to tell you that I was once slightly judgmental about how others parented. There was once a time where I was a “know it all” Special Education teacher in my twenties with no kids of my own. I knew the parents of my students had an unbelievably difficult task but I can’t deny the many times I had wished and prayed that they would just do X because it was the “better” choice. Now being a mom of five myself, two of which have special needs, I TOTALLY get it and I want to apologize with ALL my heart to anyone I may have judged. I now have a completely different lens with which I look at everything…. I call it the “mom-filter”.

 

I try REALLY hard to use the mom-filter to support and uplift other moms, instead of tearing them apart. We all share common humanity and just want to do the best we can with the resources and information that we have available to us. Being a mom is without a doubt a blessing but it is certainly the scariest thing I have EVER done. I constantly worry about the choices I am making…. Will this be one the one thing that screws them up forever? You know what I am talking about! Times it by 5 and it’s a recipe for complete exhaustion. 

 

Society has created a culture of judgment and superiority, especially amongst moms…. Breast feeding vs. formula feeding, helicopter parenting vs. free range parenting, cry it out vs. attachment parenting, vaccinated vs. non-vaccinated…. the list could continue on forever…..  The truth is judging other moms and spewing nastiness does nothing to help get what you are personally passionate about across. It shuts the recipient down and makes them push harder against you- missing all the good information you may have to put out into the world.

 

I am on a quest to connect moms across the globe who want to end the judgment and criticism, have open and civil discussions, agree to disagree and spread love and support to fellow moms. We are all on this journey together.

Why not extend a hand and an open heart?! heart2

Yours Through The Insanity,

xoxoxoxo

Colleen